we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize