So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
