This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
