I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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