I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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