Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
