i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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