yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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