every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
