Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
