Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
zippers are such a cool invention
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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