the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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