is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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