I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
