Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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