I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
