They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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