Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize