ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
