Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
