She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize