It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
