You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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