we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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