yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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