Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
third nipple confirmed
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
