I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
