You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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