I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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