I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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