We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
