have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize