OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
