we have officially mastered the walk of shame
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize