i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
soo... how was my night?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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