you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Small penises have feelings too.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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