Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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