what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
