I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
