I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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