We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
17 year olds will be the death of me.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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