and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
