When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize