That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
