At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
