Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
