Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize
