They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
