I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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