And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
