arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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