If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
The ass gains better be worth it
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