I saw his package. It spoke to me.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
