He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
