If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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