you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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