Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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