You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
