apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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