I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
