Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
