girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
