We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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