you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
